Andrew Wilson is right and I’ll explain why.

In the video below, a group of panellists discuss the issues brought up by the drama, Adolescence. British Parliament have already discussed the show and advocate for using it as a template to teach students about toxic masculinity. So, this topic is here to stay.

I have seen Andrew Wilson on various podcasts and debate panels. He is classed as a member of the red pill space. His wife, Rachel Wilson, shares similar views in terms of advocating for a patriarchy. One that is healthy and the foundation of society.

What I think Andrew got across successfully and with the unwitting help of the other panellists, is the expectation on men, with zero return. They are, for example, expected to be chivalrous as per what he labels the covert feminism of conservative commentators. In return, men apparently must not hold any expectations or ideals when it comes to women.

“I am the table,” is not just a culture war meme but representation of the entitlement displayed by modern women. In answering the question of, “well, what do you bring to the table in a relationship?“ They say “I am the table.”

Now, I don’t believe numerous conservative women, like one of the other panelists, Tomi Lahren, are as entitled as being made out. She presents a careless and selfish argument where she lists all she admires in men but dismisses Andrew’s legitimate points about feminine qualities. Whereas, in order to have a successful relationship it is common sense to behave like an adult. This involves a healthy form of give and take in your dynamic with the husband/wife.

It is a mutual, two way relationship where you may admire, say, your husband’s chivalry, like him opening doors for you, driving you here and there, picking up the dog muck in your garden and the list goes on. In return and in a way that comes naturally to you, you are giving something back. You maybe cooking the bulk of the meals, keeping the home tidy and clean, raising the children as per your mothering instincts and so on, so forth.

Instead, of understanding these fundamentals, that I am sure Tomi and Andrew actually agree on, she takes his points and twists them into a feminist narrative of female oppression. She and the other panellists say to him when he asks about women’s duties, that he apparently just wants to objectify women. They jump straight into having to cement their narrative as the only one, having to be right and they don’t actually listen to Andrew. All he is saying is that women also have to bring something to the table for the relationship to work!

If even I know Rachel Wilson, Andrew’s wife, then I am sure these commentators also do and Rachel isn’t a woman who is docile. She is out there on social media, has written a book, is on podcast and panels herself. She’s quite a tough woman. So, Andrew is clearly not someone who expects her to be like the stereotypical, caged and oppressed creature that feminists and covert feminists think of. They seem to regularly fall into the trap of objectifying women themselves.

The points Andrew raises in this debate are very similar to what author Janice Fiamengo has been doing for years in her articles and videos. Forget brash figures like Andrew Tate, Janice’s videos explore ordinary men on university campuses who are wrongfully accused of assault and men who lose their job or children because they are too readily demonised by a feminised society. What Janice and Andrew actually advocate for is common sense and a moderate middle. If she stopped to listen, I think Tomi Lahren also agrees with this. Simply put, we need both sensible men and women for a healthy society, not the suppression of one to give all the privilege to another.

So, on this Andrew is right and I was pleased to see in the comments, how many were quick to give their support for this one man band advocating for some basic common sense.

In previous posts, I have written my thoughts on the topic of using Adolescence to lecture about toxic masculinity. The most clear feedback is the agreement of basic principle. That, we don’t need fancy phrases like toxic masculinity. We just need to continue to raise our children and be aware of modern challenges.

As they say it takes a village to raise a child and so when you see bad behaviour, as an adult you are doing your bit to step in and enforce the basic rules of society. If the children are out of control in the area you live, then you look for support and help. We already have this and social media is actually a useful tool for many of us to enforce basic social courtesy. It could be better, we have a lot of anti social behaviour committed by both females and males. However, there is no short cut to raising children and so toxic masculinity is not the answer to a problem with all sorts of contributing issues.

I see parts of all our personalities that have good and bad. Without condescension and something nearing emotional abuse, boys must be boys and not be asked silly questions on national tv, like when they last cried. This is such a deeply personal thing that has been exploited as a performative tool to signal a feminist virtue. It doesn’t matter to me how often a boy or male cries, unless he’s doing it excessively which indicates something is wrong. I have grown up seeing men cry and on screen I remember stoic figures like Gladiator crying where appropriate. So, I don’t see an issue in lack of male tears but I do know that a negative society makes problems. Thanks to independent media, these aren’t distracting many of us from the real issues.

Thanks for reading.