Feminism, Julie Bindel and Andrew Wilson.

I used to be a feminist. Not a radical one but I equated feminism with women’s rights. I want women to have rights like I want men to also have rights. However, feminists seem to want privileges and not so much responsibility. That is not equality. I understand that there will be feminists who think I have not understood feminism by stating this. I disagree.

I started off following their content which still provides some thought provoking points in opposition to the very conservative mindset that seems to promote just one way of life. I believe in autonomy but not without accepting responsibility. For example, if I was childless, I would say so without using the term “child free.” Childfree seems to be a term that comes from feminist cope. I could even choose to be childless but I still wouldn’t say I was child free. This is just a small example of what I mean by cope. I think that there is a lack of acceptance in feminist ideology with regard to our actions. Our actions and inactions have consequences and repercussions. I believe you can still have autonomy in life but instead creating your own narrative and distorting words, just accept reality.

Applying that to me, I have one child. I’d have loved to have another. My daughter would make a great older sister. However, I have had to accept that my heart condition won’t allow for that but I don’t say “one and done.” As if I designed this on purpose. Instead, I accept the reality as imposed by my body. I accept that my body has its limitations. My daughter also understands that this is an example of life involving compromises.

As a mum who is lucky enough to be able to stay home and be able to find some work that I can do from home, I understand the positives and negatives. I had a dream of becoming a full time author after honing my writing skills, perhaps through university education. That did not happen because I had chosen to focus on being there for my family and taking up part time work instead. Feminists tell me what an error this is and believe they are paying for my lifestyle. They don’t want to listen to the fact that no one pays for me, not even my husband actually. As I said I am lucky to be in my financial situation and I acknowledge my privileges. I am not resentful so I don’t need to put others down in the way they attempt to put me and other stay at home mums down. So, I didn’t get to be this hot shot writer, touring book shops (that’s my romantic fantasy going into overdrive) but I gained something better in life. I became a wife and mum. I have accepted the choices I have made and I see consequences. There are many positives to be in the situation I am in when it comes to motherhood. I cannot state enough how my daughter has benefitted.

This does not mean I look down on other mums and ones who have to work to get the bills paid and to be able to provide for their child or children. Perhaps they could have made better choices in life but we are all human. There isn’t a need to look down on each other, rather we can see the different directions we all take, perhaps compare for the sake of observation and simply put our best foot forward to live each day. Harmful behaviour aside, no one is doing it better than the other person. It is just a case of different choices meaning different lifestyles.

In fact, there should be bridges between all backgrounds and demographics. I want to give to the community or my town, call it whatever term you wish. I would love to teach English and see my student soar in life. Instead of being a translator, I want to give independence to those who need to learn English in order to achieve that. So, I am looking into this and I am really interested in working at an individual level with people. My daughter comes first though.

In my life, there is no need for feminism but where I remain interested in the discourse is when it comes to solid points made about freedom from oppression. A woman like Yasmine Mohammed came from an environment where it was OK for the (step) dad to beat his daughter and leave bruises if she disobeyed. There is absolutely a need to challenge this. I don’t even want to call her past environment patriarchal because that man was not looking out for his daughter, he was not protecting her as a patriarch should. This is where I come onto men like Andrew Wilson who talks about and promotes a (seemingly) good and decent patriarchy.

I understand his wife, author and commentator Rachel Wilson, is also in favour of a patriarchy. In a recent showdown (I mean, that’s what it appeared to be) on Piers Morgan, Andrew criticised feminists and their activism over the kind of rampant trans ideology that has led to males in female sports. He said that’s what they voted for and now they’re not accepting the consequences. Famous feminist, Julie Bindel, was not having any of it. She was cross with Andrew and called him a shock jock. I think he makes good points and has led me to examine my own indoctrination by a feminist society that enables immaturity in girls and women.

I don’t know how life would have been for me had I married in my twenties and had several children (health considering), like Andrew and Rachel Wilson have done. I always thought I was too immature and not ready back then. Now, I wonder about just having the child or children and then that leading to a place of immaturity and readiness. I know I don’t have the personality to not care for my babies. I would not have abandoned nor neglected them. I am a maternal and nurturing woman. This idea that a woman has to have a career and then settle down “when she is ready..”..well I wonder about that. I understand the old school conservatism of Andrew’s.

The thing with Julie Bindel, is that I respect her strength and persistence. What she has set out to do in this world, she has achieved and keeps on wanting to make the change she wants to see. However, her writing is misandrist and something that I think with regard to so called TERF’s (trans exclusionary radical feminists) like Helen Joyce and JK Rowling, is that they may have their husbands and traditional families but in their academic work, a punch is always thrown towards men. When it comes to men who I would call the truly toxic ones that aggressively invade women’s spaces, spaces that are not for them, yes that must be fought against but there seems to be this idea in TERF circles that a man will always take advantage and will always be the opportunist who crosses a boundary. It maybe more so with trans women, that is men dressing as women but all men are seen as predators and even potential rapists.

My foot is half in and half out when it comes to inhabiting these spaces. I am more of a Janice Fiamengo and Andrew Wilson type of person as I find their ideas represent equality more so than feminism. This is where I am at and I wanted to articulate my thoughts on this matter. If you reached this far, thank you for reading.

https://substack.com/@fiamengofile?r=1z31e2&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile

Janice is very thorough in her research and has written some great articles including those about TERFS like JK, Helen Joyce and Julie Bindel.

Wow, that thumbnail eh. I thoroughly recommend the documentary below.