Thoughts inspired by Carl Benjamin’s video on British identity.

“Can They Just Identify As British?” This is the title of the video.

I got a bit of a rude awakening a few months ago when I commented on a channel, calling myself British. I said something along the lines of, “British woman here, love your channel.” Some commentators saw my name and wrote in response, that I will never be British. This itself did not offend me but I replied stating I have been raised and educated here. I also said that I have resided in only Britain for over forty years, have the passport and citizenship. That was met with a further digging of heels by some commentators where I was perceived as the enemy, literally I was told so. Perhaps I was also considered a threat towards those born in Britain and with British family spanning decades, thinking I am an imposter making a claim on what is their identity.

Since that exchange, I have thought about this issue (of identity). It has also been a topic discussed in podcasts like Triggernometry and then today, I saw Carl’s video. I understand various sides of the argument whereas prior to listening to different views, I had only understood what my parents taught me; that I am British.

Now, I am sure they told me this so that I would always feel motivated to belong to and assimilate into British society. In fact, this has never been an issue for me. Despite certain things like appearance and lineage, I am totally aligned with British values. I hold no loyalty to India. I may take an interest in, say, a tennis player from India at Wimbledon but will always cheer for the British player. I owe who I am to Britain. Perhaps, I would be considered traitor to some Indians but call it naivety, I made the decision to marry my British born and bred husband because we fell in love. I certainly didn’t marry him with any thought of wanting to cement my allegiance to a certain tribe by marrying into it nor did I want to prove anything to other Indians.

I don’t think I am a very tribal or clannish person but of course, I understand we often have intrinsic, immediate loyalties to certain people. We may gravitate towards those with similar faces and accents to us, although I have to say I gravitate towards people based on how they behave and speak. As I am used to English people, can understand them very well and vice versa, I would feel more comfortable in conversation with them than I would with (say) an Indian person who has a thick accent. Just because we share similar physical characteristics doesn’t mean I prefer their company.

Prior to listening to conservative commentary around the issue of British identity, I just thought it was a given that I am British and also believed anyone questioning this was racist. These days though, I understand that if my husband were to live in India for decades even, people would probably laugh at him if he called himself Indian. I suspect the Indians are more tribal about this than the Brits but what I see in more testing times, is a return to more clannish and tribal behaviours in Britain also. I don’t blame people, it makes sense. When immigrants come to Britain and are quite aggressive and assertive in calling themselves British, I can see why it would rile those who have pretty much only known Britain and similar with regard to their families. When British identity feels and is under threat, I can understand some of the militancy around it.

I said to my husband that I actually don’t care if someone tells me I am not British. On forms, I do have the option of British Indian to write down (that I actually don’t consider insulting or “not a thing,” despite what others think). I have become quite comfortable with myself, as I am, without feeling the need to put myself into a box or put so much stock into identity. I love Britain and that is all that matters to me. However, I want our daughter to feel safe growing up in Britain, she was also born here (unlike me) and part of that does include feeling like her British and English friends. I don’t want her to develop an outsider complex, rather I’d like her to understand that she has an interesting lineage from both sides of the family. I also want her to love Britain.

In her own time, my daughter will come to various conclusions and realisations, like I have. I think I would rather be privy to videos like below, instead of how I was in the past, which was to be rather sheltered and think these sorts of topics would be the domain of racists.

Thanks for reading my rather wordy and self orientated post. In the video below, Carl talks about politicians like Kemi Badenoch and Rishi Sunak and their claim of British identity. Whether you agree with him or not, at least we can appreciate his candidness, without crying racism just because this topic is being discussed.