You have changed.

It is fairly obvious that everyone changes with time and some people change quite obviously in a short period of time. Other people’s impression of you can remain the same, as if you are the person you were ten years ago. That can feel patronising to deal with.

Then there is also the matter of our memories ingrained so deeply in us. As I looked out of the window this morning and saw a thin sheet of snow on the ground, my body did what it usually does. I have a fear of falling which is known as basophobia. Shoe grips help a lot but my body still reacts to seeing snow and ice, as if I don’t have those grips. Much like attending a social event, if you have had social anxiety or it still lingers, you can become used to reacting a certain way. It’s almost the case that once you improve, you have to train your mind and body to think differently; it’s a reprogramming of sorts.

The person who I was even a few months ago is not who I am now. Principles remain the same but I feel more confident and comfortable in taking charge of my life. Today, I read something and it brought back an uncomfortable memory. As Jordan Peterson says, you can remember something negative but be in charge of the memory. It’s a journey from disempowered to empowered and as misused as the latter word is, I still like it.

For example, a woman I met some years ago would frown and look me up and down whenever we interacted. I felt she disliked me but saw that she was nice to others. I think this came about as I had accidentally disturbed one of her classes, as I was new to the building and had to return an item I borrowed. Since then, when our paths crossed she would not behave nicely towards me though I had apologised and had always been polite to her. Today, I read about a woman in a similar job and it brought up this memory that I hid under the lid of embarrassing experiences. I thought I may run into her again but we had sort of interacted more positively the last time and if she still looked unhappy, I’d be civil. Her negativity would not touch me.

Although I am in no way as talented, I take inspiration from someone like JD Vance, the future Vice President of America and having watched the movie biopic of his life, Hillbilly Elegy, I see how he turned his life around.

It is not unusual for us all to evolve and it doesn’t have to involve a formal resolution. Change is simply a part of life and many of us have come a long way.