People fatigue.

Sometimes I take a break from my usual outdoor chores. I feel better for it, revitalised you could say. I don’t go out of the home and I don’t see anyone outside the household that day. Whilst I will never tire of the genuinely nice and good faith discussions that come from people, even if they are online -they are still people, I get tired of those who are rude. Sometimes, it is just how they come across rather than how they are but in any case, what I discovered is I had some social anxiety because I didn’t know where I stood in certain social situations. I wasn’t sure what to do.

When I come across a person on the street, a stranger, I tend to smile, I was always brought up to be polite. Then I recognised that I am not to do this towards certain groups of people (the Islamists, the young and anyone who looks grumpy/stoned). Towards the “right” groups, I smile before I say hello because of the rude looks one gets when they do say hello and are considered to be some kind of infringer upon boundaries. I get it. I like my own space too but I was also brought up to acknowledge that I live in a society.

When two people cross each other on the street and they say hello or smile, it’s an easy and nice exchange. We both know where we stand. When the other person stares then it becomes something else. It can feel threatening.

All this is tiring, wondering what to do in an ever changing society. Whilst most people are pleasant and have good manners, there is at least one if not more that I encounter daily who is the opposite.

We are told to not let this get to us. If indeed it did get to us, then we wouldn’t simply be writing about it as if noticing, making observations is such a bad thing nowadays, rather we would be responding with something aggressive.

If I could -not just because of rude people but the way things get hushed up in this world and one is told to shut their mouth most of the time for the sake of (peace/diversity)- I would rather not be around others. It sounds so morbid but I don’t fear dying nor do I think that once my daughter is settled with her own children, I would dread the thought.

My husband says I sound like I am depressed and considering certain events, it would not surprise me plus I do have an introspective and thoughtful nature. I may be prone to depression and I am not going to take tablets to lull myself into a zombie state. He doesn’t mean that I should, just that I should acknowledge my mindset.

It still comes down to fatigue..specifically people fatigue. There is a reason why some just prefer dogs!

Let me know if you can relate. Thanks for reading.